Tag Archives: communication

The One thing All Players Need from Their Coach and Parents

Without adults, there would be no organized youth sports. But adults can ruin it for the kids. In this guest post, writer Quinn McDowell gives us adults some good advice. Managing the Complexity The dynamics between players, coaches, and parents … Continue reading

Do You Over-Praise Your Child?

Praising a child is a good thing, isn’t it? Doesn’t praise boost self-esteem, which is crucial to achievement, sound decision-making and healthy relationships? According to Heidi Stevens’ superb article, “In Criticism of Praise,” in the January 2015 issue of the … Continue reading

The 12 Most Important Insights for Parenting Teens

A common question from parents: “There’s so much advice out there, a lot of it is conflicting. What should I focus on? What’s most important?” Over the years, I’ve read most of the classic books on parenting, and I’ve given … Continue reading

Bonding with Teens – The Secret Sauce Is How You Talk to Them

Teens are different from younger kids in lots of ways. They may not be adults yet, but they aren’t little kids anymore. If you talk to them as if they are, you’ll push them away. They need your guidance, but … Continue reading

Boy Is Beautiful

A guest post from Mark Sherman, who has four grandsons and wants boys who act in typical boy ways to feel good about themselves. Society, at least in schools, may be sending a different message. I remember well in the … Continue reading

How to Help Teens Grow Strong for Adult Life

On April 14, 2014, I was interviewed by Lon Woodbury on LA Talk Radio. The topic was how parents can join with other adult mentors to create a village to raise a teenager to be strong for adult life – … Continue reading

Effective Communication Skills – The Game-Changer for Parents of Teenagers

Teenagers know they’re growing up, and they don’t like being treated like little kids. They need the wisdom and guidance of parents and other adults. But they hate lectures, sarcasm, put-downs, screaming, commands, threats, ultimatums, shaming, judging, and blaming. Don’t … Continue reading

The Miracle Skill of Parent-Child Communication

My dad wasn’t a good listener, and my mom wasn’t much better. But I have no bad feelings about this. It was just an aspect of how things were back then. In 1960, only a few people on the planet … Continue reading

Bye-Bye Dirty Dozen, Hello 7 Key Parent-Child Communication Skills

For me, the best book ever written about parent-child communication was Dr. Thomas Gordon’s P.E.T. – Parent Effectiveness Training, a 1975 classic that is still widely used today. It isn’t easy to raise kids. Sometimes they’re sweet and adorable. But … Continue reading

Recipe for Disappointment – Making Assumptions about Your Teen

The dad lets his son borrow the car. “Be sure to have it back by six. I’ve got an important place to be tonight.” “No problem, Dad.” Six o’clock comes and goes. With no sign of his son, he makes … Continue reading

It’s Never OK to Say ‘Gay’ When You Really Mean ‘Stupid’

For the next several months a group of writers focused on the issues of boys and men are collaborating through the writing and sharing of blog posts in order to bring greater awareness to the unique challenges boys and men … Continue reading

A Tale of Two Coaches – One Gets It, One Doesn’t

What informs my insights about parenting? The real world. And a lot of that is just stuff I read in the local paper. Today I read two stories about coaches. Here in Texas there has been a scandal due to … Continue reading

Why Teens Rebel – In Case You’ve Forgotten…

When they’re little you read to them, hoping they’ll love books and reading and learning. Before you know it they’re in school, beginning a journey that will teach them about the world. And in half a dozen years, puberty begins … Continue reading

A Powerful Parenting Skill – Get Kids to Think for Themselves

My wife, Kathleen Scott,  contributes regularly to the San Antonio Express-News Travel section and sometimes to the Food section. She also is working on a third draft of a mystery novel. I think it’s remarkable that she made a successful … Continue reading

Adults Can Improve the Way They Mentor Youth – And Make a Difference

Adults care a great deal about the youth in their communities. They want fewer kids to be at risk. They want more kids growing up to be strong, happy, successful adults. They’re willing to be mentors to young people. And … Continue reading

Internet Bullying – What Parents Need to Know and Do

From Amanda Kostina at the WhiteFence Savings blog, this insightful guest post… Learning that your teenager has been the target of bullies is both heartbreaking and infuriating. The discovery that your child is party to the torment and agony of … Continue reading

For Parents Only – How to Manage Your Teen’s Use of Social Media

In the 21st century, young people use social media to relate to each other. There are upsides and downsides – even dangers – to this activity. You want your child to have friends, but real relationships, not virtual ones. You … Continue reading

Forget Halloween. Here’s Something Really Scary – Rebellious Teenagers

For this post I’ve included an interesting video. Or maybe you’ll find it a shocking video. Watch it all the way through. Don’t click off just because it’s disgusting. The clips were recorded by the teens themselves. There are thousands … Continue reading

Grant Hill Mentors Young Duke Basketball Players – It Takes a Village

This video shows basketball legend Grant Hill sitting down with young players of the 2013-2014 Duke basketball team and talking to them not about basketball, but about LIFE.   Powerful. I’m sure every parent would love to have an adult … Continue reading

Gloria Estefan Gives Credit to Her First-Grade Teacher

I recently read an article by Marissa Villa in the San Antonio Express-News, “Singer Estefan hasn’t forgotten the lessons of a teacher.” Popular singer Gloria Estefan was only six years old and couldn’t speak English, but her teacher, Dorothy Collins was … Continue reading

Feedback Done Right – Motivating Kids to Do What You Want

Compliments. Praise. Recognition. Affirmation. Gratitude. Appreciation. Positive feedback. Positive strokes. Pats on the back. Good stuff! Unfortunately, most of the feedback we give our kids is negative. You know – CRITICISM. When we’re bothered by something they’ve done and we … Continue reading

7 Practical Ideas for Nurturing the Parent-Teen Bond

Thanks to Maureen Denard at FindaNanny.net for this guest post. The adolescent years can stress a parent-child relationship. This article has several practical ideas for helping the bond to grow stronger. In a world where there never seems to be … Continue reading

Smart-Phone Apps That Can Help Keep Your Teen Safe

Teens want smart phones. The good news is that these popular devices can help you stay in touch with them when they’re not right there in front of you. Even more. There are apps that can help you keep them … Continue reading

Top Three Coaching Skills for Parents of Adolescents

Recently Meredith Bell and I featured a live teleseminar for parents, “Three Coaching Skills for Parents That Will Transform Your Relationship with Your Teenager.” We focused on what we believe are the three most powerful skills among the seven coaching … Continue reading

Tim Wright – Innovator of Modern Rites of Passage for Youth

By the time young people reach high school, they’re launched on that phase of personal growth we call adolescence. It’s a ten- or twelve-year journey in which a boy can become a man and a girl can become a woman. … Continue reading

10 Important Lessons Moms Can Teach Their Sons

A boy who grows up without the guidance of a father is at a disadvantage, even at risk. But the role of the mother, who more often than not is the primary nurturer, has an enormous influence. This guest post … Continue reading

1 Million Adolescent Suicide Attempts Per Year

Recently a huge tornado devastated a small town in Oklahoma, killing 24 people. Stories and images of the destruction were all over the Internet, the newspapers and television news. The coverage reminded me of when in early June, 1966, I … Continue reading

Puberty – The Lost Passage from Child to Adult

The goal of parenting a teenager:  to help the child mature into a responsible, happy, successful adult. Even parents who consciously keep this goal in mind often have an awful time dealing with teen emotion, rebellion, risk-taking and substance abuse. … Continue reading

Are You a “Conscious Parent”?

In another post, I talked about a movie that portrayed a dysfunctional family that included two well-intended but – as I described them – “unconscious” parents. I put my own parents in that category. I knew that my mom and … Continue reading

From Rude Teen to Polite Teen – 3 Practical Strategies

Originally published at GoNannies.com, this guest post comes from Anne Laurie, a frequent contributor to that blog. There’s wisdom here. If you do these things that encourage politeness, you’ll probably be on track for building a strong relationship with your teen. … Continue reading

Strong for Parenting Podcast Episode #5 – LISTENING

Very few adults are good listeners. And yet, listening well is the most powerful thing you can do with a teenager. When your child expresses herself, and you respond, you want her to think, Mom really understands what I’m saying. … Continue reading

My Interview with Lon Woodbury of LA Talk Radio – What Parents Can Do to Help Wire Their Teen’s Brain for Critical Thinking

Lon Woodbury (LA Talk Radio) and I had a great discussion about the teen brain (to listen or download, scroll down to January 28, 2013). I talked about the big changes going on in the pre-frontal cortex (PFC), the last area of the … Continue reading

Parent-Child Communication – Build the Bridge, or Tear it Down

Teenagers…emotional, inarticulate and needy, may try to ask for something or make a statement. Maybe they want to buy something. Maybe they want to go somewhere. Maybe they’re having a problem. But parents are human, too, and not always in … Continue reading

Grow the Bond with Your Child – Forgive the Small Things

As we prepared to go the gym for our morning workout, my wife discovered that she had misplaced her car keys. We searched for ten minutes and finally found them in the car, still in the ignition. Unfortunately, the battery … Continue reading

Podcast #3 – How to Prepare for Your Child’s Adolescence

The second twelve years of growing up – adolescence – are a lot different and a lot more challenging than the first twelve years. Kids know they’re growing up, and they want to know more about the adult world. They’re … Continue reading

Composure – 10 Inspiring Quotes for Parents

My dad was a really nice guy. But I remember that when I was a teenager, he lost his temper with me three times. Yes, exactly three times. And the sad thing is that half a century later I still … Continue reading

Podcast #2 – Adolescence – The Second Dozen Years of Growing Up

When young people turn 18 and graduate from high school, parents often expect them to start doing adult things. Go to college. Join the service. Get your own place. Get a steady job. Get married. Have kids. Even the law grants them … Continue reading

Between Parent & Teenager – Classic Wisdom

Between Parent & Teenager (1967) , by Dr. Haim G. Ginott, was published before many of today’s parents of teenagers were born. Ginott, who has been dead for forty years, was a well-known child psychologist and parent educator. His insight … Continue reading

For Parents of Teens: How to Change Your Child’s Behavior

Father: “Hey, son. I thought I asked you to clean and put away the tools after you use them.” Son: “Oh. Right.” Father: “Well, the tools you used last night are still on the bench. Why didn’t you put them … Continue reading

Parents Then and Now – The Best, The Worst, and In Between

That was then. This is now. Attitudes about parenting have changed dramatically during my lifetime. When I was young, my parents were “winging it.” Back then, the word “parent” was a noun, not a verb. You didn’t parent your kids. … Continue reading

Chief Daddy Officer – Loving Father ‘Leads’ His Daughter

This is a unique book on parenting. Chris Efessiou, a highly successful entrepreneur and executive, believes that the personal strengths and interpersonal skills essential to effective leadership also apply to being an effective parent. I’ve always believed this, and in … Continue reading

Teen Sex – A Crisis with a Solution

For the past few years I’ve been interviewing adults about their adolescent experiences. I always ask, “What did your parents tell you about sex?” Ninety-five percent of the time the answer is, “Nothing.” I remember the one and only time … Continue reading

Straight Talk for Teens – Young People Sharing Perspectives

One of the perplexing things about teenagers is that they tend to trust the input of their peers more than the advice of their own parents – perhaps because they feel their friends understand their situation better. Understanding this dynamic … Continue reading

Good Parents, Great Parents

I’m sure many parents of teens dream of someday saying about their grown child: “He’s doing so well. He’s a really, really smart guy.” (Or gal…) And they hope their grown child says about them, “I had such great parents. … Continue reading

Aha! Personal Development for Teenagers!

For over 30 years my work has been focused on adult personal development – personal strengths and people skills. My company, Performance Support Systems, has published some award-winning internationally recognized assessment and development systems, all brain and behavior-based. For nearly … Continue reading

The Story Behind the “Wise Uncle” and “Wise Aunt” Books

For quite a while now, I’ve felt that the kind of personal development that we encourage with adults should begin during the teen years, if not before – that in fact the adult learners we serve with programs like ProStar … Continue reading

Who I Write For – Parents Who Are Willing to Do the Work

At 6:30 AM every morning I leave my driveway and head for the gym. Most days, as I pass a certain intersection, I see a car with its headlights on, parked by the side of the road. It’s a parent … Continue reading

The 5 Critical Communication Skills for Parents of Teens

There are five communication skills that are so important to parenting a teenager that the failure to use any one of them – even just once – can cause problems in a relationship. My research of the literature has taught … Continue reading

The Brain Talk – A Young Girl Learns What’s Happening in Her Teen Brain

I’m just guessing, but it may be true that no teenager in the long history of planet Earth has ever been given “the brain talk,” even though it’s probably the most important information a teen can have. Nevertheless, imagine a … Continue reading